Stranger

I don’t know what to call this state… I am here… but I feel as if I don’t exist… I hear people… but I don’t understand them… I touch things… but I don’t feel them… I eat food… but I don’t taste it… I can’t stay awake… and I don’t sleep… I am home and I feel that I want to go home… People talk to me… and I don’t know what they want to say… I can’t be like others and I can’t make them understand me… I can’t adapt to their way of living… and I can’t leave them… I am somehow bound to this place although I don’t belong to it… I believe in things others ignore… I perceive things other can’t see… I value habits others despise… I can’t see the exit sign… and I can’t stay either… I am looping in my mind… living in my dreams… running from my life… and… trying to convince myself that I am a Stranger in this world… maybe this is how I can survive!

Mena Mostafa

Metamorphose

Changes are not easy to accept specially when they come at late stages of age… they are also very hard to think about when they don’t complement what you have lived for… instead they tear down everything you thought was beautiful… they contradict your beliefs and destroy your values… they make you become someone else… someone you never even imagined you can or will be… but you have to… and you have to throw away everything that opposes these new ideas… and to enforce yourself to be this new thing you hate… the thing you fought a lot to avoid… or maybe to delay… because it looks now that it was unavoidable… It’s time for my Metamorphose… I have to… and I hate to.
"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it", Mary Engelbreit.

Mena Mostafa

Mountain

Many many years ago… I was standing at its bottom… looking at its top… dreaming to attain it… and thinking about means to help me fulfilling my dream. I walked a lot… took tours around it… planned for every step I’ll take to be there… and started my trip… I started to climb… and it wasn’t easy… too many rocks I had to move… too many turns I had to take… obstacles everywhere… but… I was really determined to reach it… determined and hard headed… nothing could have stopped me… Many times, I was subject to fall… but my insistence was stronger… I could always find ways to keep going up… I didn’t stop to rest or to take my breath… There were no milestones for me… but one… only one… the top… the top which when I approached, I discovered that I was climbing the wrong Mountain… and now… I look back to the bottom… and I only have one feeling… I want to throw myself. I don’t know which is worse… to stay at the bottom… or to fall from the top!

Mena Mostafa