Help

When you feel you are in need for light and you can’t see it… when you feel are drowning and you can’t reach a shore… when you feel you are lost and you don’t have a compass… when you are in need for succor and can’t get it… when you fight all waves to stay on the surface of the water in the middle of a wild storm… when you try to escape from a vortex and find yourself more attracted to the bottom… when you experience all this is and discover you are alone… and the worse is when you feel you don’t even know where to go if you survive… when you experience this is when you decide to surrender… to admit that you can no longer struggle… and you leave yourself to the current… not knowing to where it will lead you… not sure if you’ll wake up on the next day to watch the end… your end… It is when, for an unknown reason and for a fake hope, that you decide to call for Help… and you already know that no one is there for you!

Mena Mostafa

It

It’s ironic to wake up every day, assuming you were mainly asleep and not pretending to be, to find yourself thinking about the same thing and feeling the same way… I can’t stop thinking even while “asleep”… I always stare, watch, analyze, think, deduce and restart this endless loop of not being there while being somewhere with “them”… My fears remain the same… I only think about one thing… and I can’t free my mind of It… and as much as I know and am sure of its inevitability… I am terrified… although I want It very much and I think about It a lot… I am afraid… yes… I am… I can’t talk a lot about It… no one understands what I say or want to say nor how I feel… I even started feeling alone inside myself… the idea is hunting me… I know I am waiting… but for sure I don’t know till when… and I continue sleeping in the night to wake up in the morning to either find myself again or find It.

Mena Mostafa

The Answer

I’ve been asking myself for a long time why do things always look different… Why do I always see and interpret things unlike what “others” perceive, accept and become content and familiar with… I’ve been in this dilemma for a very very long time without reaching a reasonable explanation for what I feel and how I think… I asked myself a lot and finally found a very simple answer… the “simple” answer which in itself is the problem, the explanation, the main reason for keeping my mind blocked and for prohibiting it from understanding what was going on… As we were taught in school, and especially in mathematics… when it becomes very hard to reach a solution, think differently and you’ll always find another very easy way to solve the problem you are facing… And… in my case… with my life’s problems… the only convincing answer proved itself to be much simpler than what I’ve ever thought about… The Answer is that I am walking on my head and this is why I see, interpret, perceive and judge things differently… another rejected-convincing interpretation is that the world is turned upside down… And by the way… “1 + 1 = 2” is a big myth!

Mena Mostafa